DIARY OF A CORPER — EPISODE 6: NEIGHBORS FROM HELL (OR HEAVEN?)
Because there was no way—
No reasonable, acceptable way—
That this level of noise was real.
Voices.
Buckets.
Running feet.
People shouting like they were in a marketplace.
On a Saturday morning.
A Saturday.
The one day I allow myself to rest.
To breathe.
To pretend that this whole corper life is not slowly draining me.
I buried my face deeper into the pillow.
Maybe if I ignored it, it would stop.
It didn't.
Instead, it got worse.
"Ah! Bring another bucket!"
"Wait, let me finish first!"
"Hold the pipe properly!"
I sat up.
Confused.
Annoyed.
Slightly concerned.
Because what exactly was going on?
I checked the time.
7:12 a.m.
Seven.
Twelve.
In the morning.
On a Saturday.
Who wakes up this early to make this kind of noise?
I'm not even surprised.
This is Lokoja, where the sun shines as early as 7 a.m., so why should I be surprised that people are making this much noise already?
I dragged myself out of bed, threw a jacket over my nightie, and stepped into the compound.
That's when I saw it.
Buckets.
Different sizes.
Different colours.
A whole parade of them lined up like they were attending a meeting.
People moving up and down.
Fetching.
Pouring.
Calling names.
"Pour it inside the buta!" someone shouted.
"Buta?" I muttered to myself.
What in the world is buta?
For a second, I genuinely wondered:
Did someone dig a well inside their room?
Because where exactly were they turning all this water into?
And why did it feel like a community project?
"Hi."
I turned.
A girl stood there, holding a bucket like it was part of her identity.
"I'm Taiwo," she said, smiling like this was a perfectly normal situation.
"You're new, right?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Sorry about the noise. You'll get used to it."
Get used to it?
I blinked.
She walked to the bucket line, dropped hers at the very end, then came back to stand beside me.
"What's happening?" I asked.
"Water finishes fast on weekends," she explained. "So they pump and let everyone fetch and store what they can before the tank runs dry."
I looked back at the crowd.
At the urgency.
At the unspoken competition.
"Why can't they just pump again?" I asked.
She looked at me like I had asked the most ridiculous question.
"With which light?" she said. "Even this one is the house generator. Unless people are willing to contribute money for fuel—which they won't—we only do this on weekends."
"Oh."
"Who pays for the fuel?"
"The caretaker gives us money every month for that. It's part of the rent you paid."
"Oh, wow."
Impressive.
I went back inside, grabbed every container I could find, and joined the queue.
Later, when the noise finally died down and the compound returned to something close to silence, I went back into my room and sat on the bed.
And that's when it hit me.
Not the noise.
Not the water.
The reality.
I will be here for almost eleven months.
Eleven.
Months.
I said it out loud just to hear how it sounded.
It didn't sound any better.
As I sat there thinking about it, I felt it.
That quiet fear.
The kind that doesn't shout.
The kind that simply sits in your chest and waits.
And somehow, it reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in years.
The day my dad dropped me off at boarding school.
I was nine.
Too young to act brave.
Too old to cry in front of him.
I remember standing beside my box, watching him talk to one of the housemistresses like this was just another normal day.
Like he wasn't about to commit a major crime.
Leave his first daughter behind for the very first time.
When he was done, he looked at me.
"Behave yourself. Read well. Eat well. I'll come and see you soon."
Soon.
That word.
I nodded like I understood.
Like I believed him.
But the moment he turned and started walking away...
That was when it hit me.
That tight feeling in my chest.
That lump in my throat.
That silent question I didn't know how to ask:
Will I be okay here?
I blinked.
And just like that, I was back in my room.
Same feeling.
Different place.
That same tightness in my chest.
That same forced bravery.
That same silent question.
Will I be okay here?
I didn't know the answer then.
And honestly...
I'm not sure I know it now.
A knock on my door broke the silence.
I opened it.
It was Taiwo.
"Hi," she said again, like we were continuing an earlier conversation.
"We couldn't really talk back there because of the water situation. I'm Taiwo."
"Yeah, you said that earlier. I'm Dewa."
"Yeah, I know. I'm a corper too. Bassey already told me we have a new neighbour."
"That loud mouth," I hissed, smiling.
"Would you like to come in?" I asked.
"No, maybe next time. I just wanted to give you this. Let's say it's a welcome-to-the-compound gift."
She handed me a neatly wrapped package.
"Awwn," I smiled.
"Thank you."
I didn't open it immediately.
My grandma always said it wasn't proper to unwrap a gift while the person who gave it to you was still standing there.
Just then, Femi walked past.
His block was adjacent to mine.
He didn't even say good morning.
He just kept his head straight and headed for the gate.
I wondered if he had managed to save water earlier.
I hadn't seen him outside.
Or Bassey.
"Femi."
Taiwo's voice pulled me back.
Is it me, or did she call his name a little too sweetly?
Dewa, behave yourself.
Femi turned and waved without saying a word before continuing towards the gate.
Kai.
This guy and his confusing attitude.
Sweet today.
Cold tomorrow.
Taiwo turned back to me, and that's when I noticed she was still smiling.
"That's my crush," she said.
What?
The way she said it didn't sound like ordinary gist.
It sounded more like a warning.
Like:
Keep your eyes away from him.
He's taken.
"Oh," was all I managed.
"That's nice."
Then, because my mouth likes trouble, I added,
"He's fine."
"Yeah," she replied, blushing.
"I should go now. I'm still going to work."
"On a Saturday?"
"Oh, it's extra lessons for SS3 students. They're preparing for external exams."
"Ohh. Your PPA is a school?"
"Yes."
"Private?"
"Yes."
I nodded.
"Alright. Have a nice day, and thank you for this."
I lifted the package slightly.
"You're welcome. Bye."
"Bye."
As soon as I stepped back into my room, I opened the package.
Big, beautifully shaped akara balls stared back at me.
I laughed.
If only this girl knew how much I loved akara.
This is the best thing that has happened since I woke up today.
And just like that...
It didn't feel entirely like hell anymore.
Maybe that's how it starts.
Not comfort.
Not happiness.
Just...
Adjustment.
And maybe, just maybe—
I will be okay here.
End of Episode 6
To be continued…
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