What Does Forgiveness Mean To You? 

 

When I was in primary school, I got into a serious misunderstanding with all the girls in my class.

I honestly don't even remember what the issue was exactly—something about classwork or an assignment. What I do remember is that the girls in my class ganged up on me and threatened to beat me up after school.

And me, being the small but very confident person that I was, kept running my mouth.

After school, while I was walking home, they met me.

And they beat me up.

All of them.

But strangely, the beating wasn't what hurt me the most.

My best friend was one of them. 

I couldn't understand how my best friend could join the others in beating me. It really hurt me.

I didn't tell my parents. I didn't tell anyone. I just acted like I had forgotten about it.

A few weeks later, my best friend and I started talking again. We never discussed what happened. I don't even remember if she apologised.

We simply moved on.

Little did she know, I had my plans.

The following session, we were promoted to another class, and I became friends with a new girl in my school. Somewhere along the way, I told her what Medinat had done to me, and we decided to get revenge.

One of my other male friends joined us, and we beat her up, threw her books into the gutter, dirtied her hair and messed up her uniform.

First to do no dey pain, right? Lol.

Looking back now, it sounds terrible.

And it was.

But at the time, I felt justified. I had my revenge, and I was happy.

Of course, there was drama afterwards. Our parents got involved, and there were consequences.

Years have passed since then, and I'm no longer who I used to be.

Not because people haven't hurt me, but because I have learnt that forgiveness is intentional. You have to deliberately choose to let go.

It isn't always easy. Some people do things to you that make you feel like, we will have to get to heaven before we resolve this matter.

But while you are holding on to the hurt, you are hurting yourself too. Sometimes, the person who wronged you has moved on and doesn't even know you are still carrying the pain.

Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean forgetting. I mean, you would have to get a brain wipe for that. You can remember what happened without allowing it to keep hurting you. You can forgive and still have boundaries.

For me, forgiveness is reaching a point where you no longer need the person who hurt you to suffer before you can finally be at peace.

But what does forgiveness mean to you?